Virgin Read online

  Virgin

  by

  Natalie Foxx

  The first time Corey and I almost had sex, I had to stop him. It was too painful. Like I was trying to force feed a chew-toy to a dog. This doesn’t make sense, though, because this dog really, really, really wanted to chew on the toy. This dog has never, ever, ever chewed on a toy before. And this dog knows that chewing a toy for the first time will be one of the best experiences of her life. So it’s like this dog wanted to chew on the bone, she was starving, but she couldn’t open her mouth, even though she really tried. If you haven’t figured it out yet, this dog is me, and this dog is a virgin.

  “Mister, come back here!” I say to Mister, my rat terrier mix. Mixed with what? I don’t know, but he kind of looks like a Scottie. He’s cute, little, and black, which is something black guys never want to hear! You know, when you talk about their penises? Bear with me, I make stupid jokes, a lot of stupid jokes. If you don’t like stupid jokes, I don’t think we can be friends.

  Mister finishes up peeing on his tree, because he owns everything he pees on, apparently, and comes back to the house with his proud tail wagging from side to side. As soon as he gets in I shot the door. It’s cold here in Utah, almost all the time, and when you’re a tiny girl like me, then it’s extra cold. I can’t wait for the day I see the “Welcome to Utah” sign in my rearview mirror, but I guess I first have to have my own car to have my own rearview mirror, and without a car I’ll be trapped in here forever, with my mom and dad and my younger but hotter, more popular, and better in every way sister.

  I follow Mister back to the living room and sit on the couch and I wrap myself around my blanket. It follows me around the house. Wherever I go I take it, even the bathroom. Utah is too freaking cold.

  There’s a green flash going off and on to my right on the cushion beside me, it’s my phone. It’s a text message. From him. Well, it’s either him or my mom, but I’m sure it’s him. Him. Corey. The guy who almost deflowered me. Normally I would be excited to see that green flashing light, because I like Corey, I really like Corey, and he likes me, but I feel everything changed last night. When the doors to the castle didn’t let his knight inside. Now I’m afraid the king will hate me and will want to start a war against me. But I have nothing to worry about, right? Corey shouldn’t be upset. That’s something that only happens on the TV, or a cheesy novel. Never in real life. Never to me.

  I keep looking at the light, like a cat staring at a laser, wondering if she should attack it or not… My animal metaphors are spot on today! Good job me! I wish I was studying to be a veterinarian, so I could joke about animals all the time. Or maybe not. I can’t think of a good animal joke right now.

  The flash goes on again and I grab the phone and press the button. It’s a text message, and it’s is from Corey.

  “Hey”

  Shit. Hey? That’s it, hey? What the fuck does that mean? It could mean anything. I wait for a while, to see if there’s a second message coming, but no, that’s it. Hey. He’s definitely upset.

  Last night I went to his house, not to my house of course, because my parents and sister are here, with the intention of losing my virginity. But I came out of his house with a pained vagina and ego. Corey and I had been talking about doing it for a while, well, at least I had been talking about it for a while. Corey didn’t talk about it too much, and didn’t push me to make it happen. He’s not a virgin, he’s 23 so it’d be weird if he was. So he doesn’t have that overly imaginative, craving, and sexual mind I have because of my nineteen years of being a virgin.

  You’re probably thinking one of two things. One would be, you’re still young girl! Just wait for the right guy and let it happen, don’t force it. And two would be, you’re nineteen and you haven’t done it yet? You’re missing out. What’s wrong with you?

  To the first one I’ll respond: I want it! I want a dick inside of me. I want it. I want it. And I cant’ wait. Besides, Corey is great. He’s “right.” And more importantly, I don’t want to go to college being a virgin. And I’m going to college in a few months. No, I’m not a high school student, just taking a break after graduating.

  And to the second I’ll say: What’s wrong with me is that my vagina is as shut closed as a strip club on Sunday morning!

  To be honest, I don’t really know if strip clubs are shut closed on Sunday mornings. It’s not like God will think any better of strippers if they’re not dancing on his favorite day of the week. Anyways, I want to have sex, that’s the moral of the story. I want to have sex as much as I want to leave Utah, and I really want to leave Utah.

  I press the button on my phone and look at the text again. Hey. I read it and then I type the only thing it makes sense to type.

  Hey.

  I put the phone down and look at Mister, who found his chew-toy and is having a blast sticking it in his mouth, and getting it all wet. I’m jealous of a ball-less dog. What a sad life. Everything is sad when you’ve never had sex. I hear my sister in the kitchen, microwaving a warm bowl of oatmeal, speaking on the phone with one of her friends, about some girl and some party. You know, high school things. My sister is younger than me, but she has definitely has had sex. After all she’s more sociable, prettier, hotter, and also sluttier. I’m also jealous of my stupid sister. What a sad life indeed.

  My phone vibrates and the light starts to flash again. It’s Corey.

  Wanna try again tonight?

  I smile and not a second after that my vagina starts getting warm and wet.

  He picks me up in his electric blue pick-up truck, after I leave the house without telling anyone. I walk far away enough so not even my neighbors can see me get in Corey’s car. It’s not really sneaking out, because I’m an adult. I can vote, I can join the army, and I can have sex. So if I want to leave my own house to have sex with my own boyfriend, then that’s my problem, not my parents’. Besides, I don’t want them asking question. They always ask questions. You know, when you live in a small town, people talk a lot because they’re bored. And because we don’t have celebrities, or good sport teams, or much news going on in general, people just talk about people. What I’m trying to say is that rumor spreads, and my parents know this, and they don’t want it to happen more than it happens already with my sister. Everyone talks about my sister, and not in a good way.

  “Hey,” Corey says when I open the door. I say hey back to him, with a stupid smile in my face, staring at his mature, handsome face, lumberjack face. He could have a beard if he wanted, a manly beard, and he’d probably look deliciously manly in it, but he’s shaven and that’s deliciously manly too. He’s one of those guys who always look good, no matter what. “You’re letting cold in. Come on, girl, let’s get going!”

  I say sorry and jump up. I actually have to jump because it’s a tall truck, and I’m kind of short. My sister is already taller than me.

  “How are you?” Corey asks me while we drive away and I put on my seatbelt. Safety first. Safety. Shit, I don’t have a condom. He had a condom before, but maybe it was his last condom. What if it’s his last condom, and we have to go buy condoms? Oh no.

  “Do you have a condom?” I say and it’s too late before I realize I said it.

  “What?” he says and I can feel my blood get to my cheeks. It’s too late. “Wow. You don’t want dinner first?”

  I smile because there’s nothing else to do. I guess I should explain my relationship to Corey. We’ve been seeing each other for three months, not dating, just seeing each other, hanging out. He had a girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, before me, and that’s why we haven’t been really dating. He isn’t ready, or he wasn’t before. Now he is and I’m ready too. Not to date, but to have sex. Well, three months ago I’m at the superstore, just walking down the book section, checking i
f they had anything new. We don’t have a library here, so I have to buy my books, which I guess is okay because I love having a big collection. Anyways, I’m walking down the book section when Corey calls me from the next aisle, the car parts and accessories aisle. But instead of calling me by my name, he calls me by my sister’s name. Clara, Clara! He said, and I’m so used to hearing that name that I responded to it. As soon as I turned around, Corey realized it wasn’t Clara, and he apologized. I explained I was Clara’s older sister, and then he helped me with my groceries while we talked about a million things. I remember thinking something was up, because you never go to the super store wanting to buy a new romantic novel, and coming out with a hot, tall, older guy carrying your bags. I didn’t buy the novel that day, by they way, because I didn’t want Corey to judge me.

  We hung out a lot after that, mostly at his place, because it was cold. It is cold. Winters in Utah are cold. And because he didn’t want to be seen with another girl, not this soon after he and his ex broke up. He explained this to me, that even though we weren’t dating, that people would talk about us anyways. And I was okay with it, even though I secretly wanted to be more than friends. And we watched movies and TV and he drank beers, and offered me some, which I didn’t try until about a month ago. What a slippery slope. First I drink one beer a month ago, and now we’re driving to his house to have sex. If only all the people of Utah knew! They would have something to talk about for months.

  “How’s your family?” Corey asks me, changing the subject. He’s so nice and polite, he’s always asking about my family.

  “My dad’s at the store,” I tell him. “My mom’s at home, reading.”

  “And your sister?”

  I think about it.

  “I don’t really know,” I say. “I don’t think she’s home. At least there wasn’t any loud music coming from her room. Like always.”

  “She likes loud music?” he asks me.

  “I wouldn’t say ‘like,’ she loves it,” I giggle. “Some times I think she’s hiding something from us with the loud music. You can hear it from downstairs in the kitchen! The whole day: Bum! Bum! Bum! Like we are at a concert.”

  “What do you think she’s hiding in there, a boyfriend?”

  Corey looks at me with a serious face that turns into a small smile after a couple of seconds.

  “I mean, I’m sure she has a boyfriend. Or multiple!” I laugh. Corey turns his face forward and breaks for the red light. “So yeah, maybe she has that loud music to hide the moaning and the sound of the bed springs. I’ve thought about it before, but I don’t really know how she would sneak her boyfriend in, without anyone noticing. This one time my dad found a guy in her room, that was crazy. They weren’t doing anything, but my dad didn’t like it at all. And the guy was older, like five years older. She was fourteen, and the guy just graduated high school. He was so old compared to her.”

  “Well,” Corey says, stepping on the gas. “I’m five years older than you too.”

  “That’s not that bad, though. I’m an adult.”

  “An adult!” Corey laughs. “An adult who’s a virgin.”

  “Not for much longer,” I say, remembering, as if I was suddenly realizing tomorrow was Christmas day and a big, nice present was waiting for me under the tree. “Do you have a condom, then?”

  “I have a whole box,” Corey says to me. “So if you decide you really like sex, then we can go crazy.”

  We park in front of his house, a three bedroom, two bathroom he’s renting with four more people. One of them sleeps on the couch. And we walk in through the front door.

  “Hey man,” one of Corey’s roommates says to him from the couch, without looking away from the TV. He’s playing a war video game, one of those games people blame for mass shootings.

  “Sup,” Corey says and pushes me to his bedroom door. He can’t wait to have sex either!

  “Shit! Is that Clara?” The roommate says before Corey and I can go into the room and close the door. Corey frowns and takes a deep breath, then he turns around leaving me behind him.

  “No,” he says very loudly, kind of angry. I would be angry too, if I was about to have sex and my roommate wanted to make conversation. “It’s not Clara.” Corey turns around and shakes his head to me, as if telling me to ignore the guy, but I don’t. I want to have sex too, probably even more than him, but I want to be polite. Besides, I don’t want people to think Clara is going out with Corey, I mean, he’s eight years older than her. I don’t even know if that’s legal here in Utah.

  “I’m Valeria,” I say, sneaking around Corey so the roommate can see me. “I’m Clara’s older sister.”

  “Oh…” the roommate says, looking at me and then at Corey and then at me again.

  “She’s my friend,” Corey says.

  “People confuse us all the time,” I say, trying to be nice but quick, so we can get to Corey’s room faster. “Even Corey thought I was my sister once.” I giggle, and Corey’s roommate laughs too.

  “That’s funny!” he says, with his game still paused. Then there’s a long silence, very long silence, that Corey breaks.

  “Alright man,” Corey says to him and smiles at me, pointing at his bedroom by tilting his head.

  “Have fun, guys,” Corey’s roommate says, trying to hide a smile. He knows we’re having sex. But I don’t care. I want to have sex and I don’t care who knows!

  Corey closes the door, and thirty seconds later the shooting, screams and music from the roommate’s game start again.

  “Sorry about that,” Corey he says. “He can be a little weird.”

  “It’s okay,” I tell him. “I’m used to people confusing me for my sister.”

  Corey nods, looks at me, and then walks away to his TV. He turns it on and connects his phone to it.

  “What do you wanna listen to?” he asks me. It’s a good question. What do I want to listen to when I lose my virginity? Maybe some sexy jazz, with a lot of saxophone, so I can feel like I’m in a porno, so I can feel like Emily Woodgate. I wish I was as hot as she was. Hell, I wish I was as hot as my sister. No! It’s not time to be self-conscious, it’s time to be sexy.

  “Whatever you want to listen to is fine,” I say and he puts on some electronic music, and he turns the volume almost all the way up so we can’t hear the shots being fired in the other room. Corey comes to me and sits on the bed, while he takes his jacket off. I sit beside him and take mine off too. But we’re not taking our clothes off like you do when you’re about to have sex, we’re taking them off like you do when you’re tired and you just want to sleep.

  “Everything okay?” I ask him, kind of disappointed. I want him to get me naked with hungry eyes, again, like he did last time, the first time a man got me naked. But instead he’s just sitting there, staring at the floor.

  “Yeah,” he says. “Sorry.” But he’s lying, something is not okay. But I will make it okay! I kiss him in the cheek and hold his hand. He smiles, so I kiss him again, and again, until he turns his face and kisses me back. I got him! It makes me feel so hot when I get him to pay attention to me.

  The first time we kissed was a month and a half after we first started hanging out. At the beginning we didn’t hang out too much, but slowly he kept texting me more and going to my house to pick me up. First we would just talk, then we would talk and watch movies, then we would cuddle because it was cold, and then one time, after a good, romantic, steamy movie, he kissed me. I had to masturbate that night, even though I don’t masturbate too often. I don’t have anything against masturbation, but I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want to spoil my appetite before the big meal. After that, we kissed pretty often and we started doing more and more. One hand there, one kiss over there, less clothes, touching with clothes, touching under our clothes, and then last week when we tried having sex but I had to give him a hand job instead. I didn’t even use my mouth. I was nervous, and a little confused, and kind of sad and in shock, because I couldn’t get myself to op
en my legs and relax. I guess masturbation would’ve helped me be more comfortable in that position.

  “It’s going to go well today,” I whisper to him. “I’m going to let you fuck me.”

  He holds my face and kisses me more. I’m proud of my line, I’m going to let you fuck me, that’s so good it could be in a movie. And it worked, Corey pushes me onto his bed, and keeps kissing me, with his eyes closed. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I’m so new to this that I’m still not trained to keep my eyes close while kissing. I just want to see everything, I don’t want to miss a thing. Corey lays on top of me, with a leg between my legs that rubs my crutch every time he moves. There’s the fabric of my jeans, his jeans, and my panties separating Corey to my vagina, but his leg is still making me feel great. Just imagine how great it will feel once he’s actually inside of me.

  Corey kisses my neck and my ears, and his damp breath makes me smile and shiver. I let out a moan, but then I shut myself.

  “They can’t hear you,” Corey says to me. “Don’t worry about making noise. I want you to make noise. The music will cover it up.”

  “Just like my sister,” I say, my younger sister who I think has had sex a million times, if she is actually having sex every time she turns her music on.

  “Just like your sister,” he says back, with a serious tone, stopping the kisses.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’ll shut up! Kiss me, come on. I want you.” This line doesn’t work that well, Corey still has that serious look on his face, so I have to hold him and push him around to roll on top of him to kiss him again. After a few kisses, he’s normal face comes back.

  I spread my legs to the sides of his legs and lay on top of him, with my boobs on his chest and my lips on his lips. Slowly, Corey’s arms come back to life and he puts them on my back and moves them to my neck, the back of my head, my legs, my ass.

  He spanks me, softly.

  “Oh yes,” I say, and he spanks me again a little harder. He spanked me last time too, and I liked it a lot. From looking at it at porn, I never thought I would like it, but as soon as Corey spanked me I changed my mind. It’s really a turn on. It’s a little degrading, but that’s why it’s so hot. It’s great to know you’re an object of desire to someone else, specially even more if this someone else is like Corey and he treats you nice otherwise. It makes it even hotter that he can be nice and loving, but also rough and more of an animal when he’s horny.